FOMO is a real thing. FOMO, or the fear of missing out, feels like a relatively new term used to describe the anxiety we feel when we see someone else living a lifestyle that we are not. FOMO produces in us a real emotional turmoil-"Wow, I wish I could have that" (fill in the blank with a thing, experience, lifestyle etc...). A pang hits our heart--"If only I was there and not here. If I didn't have this burden, I would be free to do/have that..." Think about it; FOMO is really envy on a grand scale.
Here's the thing: FOMO often leads to some bad decision making right? We've all been there, making hasty life-changing "choices" that aren't considered and measured for our particular set of circumstances. We look at what others have and do and wish we were in their shoes.
In my humble opinion, FOMO was one of the first recorded sins in the bible as committed by Eve. (I think the other one was co-dependency-more on that next blog). Most propose that Eve's choice to eat the apple was a willful act of disobedience. She knew God's directive to not eat the apple from the forbidden tree but she did it anyway. My thought is that what Eve feared was missing out on the imagined pow of having something she was being denied. Eve was the second human to arrive on the scene: maybe she thought she'd missed out on what Adam had experienced up to the point of her arrival and thought that eating the apple would help her get what she imagined she'd missed out on. However, could it have been the ROOT of ENVY in her act even more than the act it's self that was the problem?
None of us act in sin before we purpose in our hearts to sin. Her sin manifested as an act of disobedience but, the heart felt FOMO FIRST. Yes, she was skillfully manipulated, and we shouldn't minimize that fact but, it is interesting to me to see how she attempted to intellectualize her decision using the enemy as her consultant.
Hear me: she chose to converse with the one who would give her the answer she was already seeking because she already wanted something she thought she was missing out on.
As post abortive women, we have to, at some point, come to terms with our own FOMO moment. Many of us, like Eve felt the FEAR of missing out on... You can probably name it: your imagined career, imagined financial stability, the imagined love of your partner, the imagined judgmental eyes of your family, the very real acknowledgment of your sexual sin etc. Suddenly the envy of a life without a child pushed you from a space of fear and doubt into a space of intellectualization and rationalization. And from that came a life-altering decision that changed EVERYTHING that came afterwards. And suddenly nobody, including you, your family or your worst enemies envied your pain and loss. You came face to face with what you REALLY missed out on.
I am writing this tough love message to the woman who has yet to make an abortion decision; the woman possibly considering another abortion and, like me, the woman who has abortion in her past but would like a better understanding of her abortion "choice" through a biblical lens.
None of us are immune to FOMO in this fallen world. The enemy is yet STILL making life altering moves against the scared pregnant woman: showing her a life of discontent because of an inconvenient or unwanted pregnancy. Showing her an imaginary life of, "if only I weren't pregnant, I could have..." Don't make the enemy your consigliere. Talk to someone who reveres, fears and respects the LIVING God; the only One who is able to move miraculously on your behalf in a time of trouble or turmoil. Let Eve's FOMO be a cautionary tale of who NOT to trust in a time of uncertainty. Remember: FOMO is really rooted in envy and fear and that heart space is no place to live your God appointed life in.
Much love, Sylvia